Spring is definitely in the air. I have been wearing flip-flops to class. I still am wearing pants, but it's finally comfortable enough for t-shirts and flip-flops.
The "I am graduating" countdown has begun. I have 3 papers, two projects, and two exams between me and graduation. CRAZY! As I was walking around campus yesterday I saw a group of high school students and their parents taking a tour of NC State....just like I did my junior year of high school when I was trying to pick a college to attend. It seems like just yesterday I was going on those tours...and now, now I'm about to GRADUATE?!?!? I just can't believe it.
Well, as my need for promptness and productivity always gets the best of me, I will be attempting to write two of those final papers this weekend. The way I look at it is if I write them now (at least a solid rough draft) I will be essentially done with those classes. Wouldn't that be a great feeling! Also, I will be going home next weekend for Easter and then the following weekend for a half-marathon that I'm running in Charlotte. I like to do my "big" assignments on weekends, but I try not to do homework in Asheville, so I need to be super productive this weekend so that I can have the next two "off".
I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I'm playing on an intramural softball team (Thursdays) and flag football team (Wednesday) this semester. Intramural means we play one game weekly and never practice. It's great fun! It reminds me of high school and organized sports. In football I just kind of run around and try to catch the ball in the end zone....where the boys will OFTEN pass me the ball because the team gets twice as many points if a girl scores. And softball I either play out field behind 3rd base or I just play 2nd base. I'm pretty good at batting too. I don't hit the ball that far, but I always hit the ball. Also, I can bat left or right handed...and I like to always be mixing things up for the other team!
Mexico.....some days I am so excited to go and be there, and them some days the thought of raising so much money is overwhelming. It's good to remember that all money belongs to God and He'll get me there on His time in His way. It's also exciting to share with people "Why Mexico?", why I feel called to go there and how this location really matches my heart.
I have decided that student teaching (of which I am student teaching ESL currently) is really hard to do part-time. It's hard to be in student teacher mode and college student mode. I just feel really disconnected from the students when I only see them two days a week. Also, my classes have grown A LOT. My ESL II classes went from 4 and 5 students to 7 and 9 students and my ESL I class went from 8 to 14 students! It's still fun, but I just feel a little disconnected. I will be observed April 8th, my one and only observation, which is a little nerve racking because I only get "one chance", so to speak.
Today I have one class, then my long run, then discipleship, then I'm off to writing papers. Have a great weekend!
It is here. I have it. It makes me just want to be outside in the sunshine and avoid my work. It has me keeping a daily count-down. .....Spring [break] Fever has arrived.
This little taste of beautiful weather has left me ready for Spring. I'm feeling a little burnt-out and Spring Break (only four days away) is just what I need for a little relaxation and change of pace. I don't really want to just "sit around"; in fact I will be working at Stone Ridge Tavern over my break and working on MTW/Mexico support raising; I just want to do something different then study, read, and write papers. I've learned that I'm a socialite. I thrive on interactions with others. Therefore, working as a waitress is just not work to me...I love it. However, studying in my room in solitude, or doing research for a paper=work! I ready for a "work" break.
So, Spring Break here I come!
I have also kept myself busy this past week with things other than school work. This weekend our apartment hosted Amanda's (my roommate) birthday party. We had a pot-luck dinner, played board games, and then later in the evening when out to sing karaoke. Saturday evening I attended Mi Familia's culture show, then attended the "after-party" at a local restaurant where there was Salsa dancing. Sunday afternoon, which was gorgeous, I went bike riding with some friends and then finished off the afternoon with a jog (triathlon season is just around the corner!).
I just finished a midterm!, and the only things between me and Spring Break are a 6 page research essay for my Spanish Seminar Class, a few lesson plans, and some readings. I also plan to go out for half-off sushi with some friends on Tuesday and maybe throw a night of Salsa dancing in there somewhere.
In Mexico/MTW news, I will begin calling potential supporters this week to talk about them becoming part of my support team (either prayerfully or financially). Pray for me...this is a new experience. Thankfully, God has given me other missionary friends (Melanie!) who have been encouranging and supportive with words of guidance as well as a great coach from MTW (Tracy) who is great with answering my questions and staying in-touch with me.
In turbulosis news, I go to pick up my LAST bottle of medicine this week. HAS IT REALLY BEEN 9 MONTHS ALREADY???? I actually will be taking the meds through May, but I can't believe it will be my last (let's hope!) trip to the Health Department.
....was busy, but good! I started the week off a little tired after my awesome Destino Retreat (see pictures). The conference topic was "Identidad en Cristo" (Identity in Christ). We had an awesome speaker from Texas, and students from other Destino groups in attendance from Texas, Miami, Arizona, New York, Ohio, Virginia, Chicago, and California. The retreat started Friday afternoon around 2pm and I was busy non-stop until Sunday around 9pm. It was an great time with little sleep, challenging Bible teaching, and lots of new friendships. On Saturday afternoon during our free time we all played soccer. The picture makes me look like I'm really good, but really it's just a really good picture. The other picture is a group picture...can you find me? (grandma, I'm on the front Right).
The rest of this week consisted in my first Philosophy exam. I studied really hard and I felt really prepared while taking the exam, which was nice! Also, this week I taught my ESL students at Leesville Road Middle School for the first time. We did the Hokie-Pokie to work on body parts in the ESL I (beginner) class, and then I introduced Point of View (1st, 2nd, and 3rd person) to my ESL II class. It is way different than teaching Spanish, but I love the small class sizes and the honesty of the students (the later might just be a Middle School thing).
For example:
I draw a picture of Abraham Lincoln on the board. Student A says "Miss Sol-A-BEN, why you draw a snowman?" I say "That is not a snowman." Student B says "duh!!!...it an OLD snowman."
I am so excited that I have "nothing" to do this weekend. I shall stay home, relax, and be very productive!
This week has been a rough week for me. It seems I have so much work to do and so little time. It also seems that no matter what I do it's not enough...for example, I have three 2-page papers due on Thursday in my Spanish class. She sent out brief instructions on Friday and I did them over the weekend because I knew I had a busy week coming up. Well, yesterday (Tuesday) in class, she "altered" the instructions in class and basically I will need to rewrite the essays. Why can't she just send out the correct instructions the first time?????????...because she wants to make my life awful, of course! (maybe that is a slight exaggeration).
Anyway, I've just been feeling the pressure to get things done (school, MTW/Mexico, and with friendships). These are all good things to "get done", but the problem is I always want everyone to be happy and especially everyone to be happy with me. So, when I feel like I'm failing in an area I start to feel, well, like a failure.
I think often my feelings of despair come from the Devil in the act of Spiritual Warefare. Satan doesn't want God to have control over my life, so as I have the Destino Retreat coming up this weekend and as I pursue missions in Mexico, Satan wants me to feel despair; he does not want either of these things to be successful because they are God's plans.
Thankfully, although I go through these battles, the war has been won. The song "Before the Throne of God Above", written by Charitie Bancroft in 1863, has a verse that sums-up well these notions of despair and the redemption provided by God in return.
"When Satan tempts me to despair And tells me of the guilt within, Upward I look and see Him there Who made an end of all my sin. Because the sinless Savior died My sinful soul is counted free. For God the just is satisfied To look on Him and pardon me."
I have not yet decided if this semester seems academically harder than normal because it is, or because I've mentally "graduated" and not totally focused any more, or because I'm stuck on the idea that I NEED to graduate Summa Cum Lauden (Highest Honors) which requires me to get all A's and one A+ this semester....???? Either way, it just seems hard. I'm trying to allow myself to relax and remind myself that other than the actual day of graduation (and my mom's Christmas letter) no one is actually going to know or care whether I graduated with Highest Honors or just High Honors....it really only matters that I graduated. I think I could get all C's this semester and still have a GPA high enough to get into Grad-school. ....So, note to self: relax!
Things with MTW (Mission to the World) and Mexico are progressing rather quickly. I will shortly be sending out support letters. I am currently having to fill out a lot of paper work, which is adding to my work load, but I enjoy this work!...I guess I'm not getting graded for my work and I know ALL of the answers (Name, Date of birth, etc)!! As support raising picks up things should get a little more hectic as I will not only be sending letters, but also following up either by phone or in person with everyone I send a letter to. I am raising money to be a "salaried" intern, and I have to raise about $30,000!
Valentine's Day is quickly approaching, and I love this holiday. I love red and pink, I love candy, and my love language is gift giving...so I naturally love giving and getting to show love and friendship. My mom did the annual Valentine's Day treasure hunt for me last weekend!, and this weekend I have a Salsa Dance Party with Mi Familia "Noche de Passion", and then Sunday I think I will be having some single ladies over to make heart shaped pizzas.
Un-realated events: I am meeting with NC State's RUF minister today to talk about RUF (I guess...ha) in prep form Mexico and then tomorrow night I'm going bowling with Mi Familia.
I have been attempting to set into stone plans for post college graduation, since before I started college (that's just how I function: ahead). And while, plans and goals have come and gone, changed and grown, I have found it very tough officially finalizing plans now that my college graduation is rapidly approaching. I have consider several, no many, options and had narrowed it down to ten before Christmas. Then during Christmas break I was able to narrow it down to two: spending a little under a year in either Peru or Mexico with Mission to the World (MTW). Well, I have been praying and praying for God's guidance on this decision, but just felt no clear pull in either direction. I finally gave myself the official deadline of January 31, 2010 to decide....and as it was quickly approaching I simply began feeling more and more confused and uncertain.
So the dilemma was this... my heart was to go to Mexico to work with and learn more about the people I have come to love here in the United States. I wanted to immerse myself in their language (and slang) and culture and truly gain a better understanding of them and how God created them. Also, in my long-term plans (yes, of course, I have already planned that far ahead) I would like to return to the US and work with Latin Americans here, most of which are Mexican. So why would I not choose Mexico????...well, the internship in Mexico was with Reformed University Fellowship (RUF) a college campus ministry. I was not opposed to campus ministry, but that's not all I wanted to do; I also feel a calling to Mercy ministry.... ...which leads me to Peru. I have never really wanted to go to Peru, at least not to live for a year, and to be honest I don't even know many Peruvians in the US; however in Peru I would be working with this ministry called the House of Glory, which was very attractive to me. The House of Glory takes in at risk teen girls who are pregnant and cares for them spiritually and physically. I loved the idea of this ministry, but not of Peru.
So, I was stuck. I liked each ministry for various reasons, but neither felt right. I kept praying (as did many other people on my behalf) and was hoping God would answer before January 31st. In the midst of my fears, stresses, and anxieties I often resorted to these verses:
"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:5
"Cast you cares on the Lord and he will sustain you..." Psalms 55:22
Well I continued reminding God of His promises to me (see above versus), I also continued pursing each ministry site by asking questions trying to get a better understanding of life in each country hoping that some piece of information would "make my decision". Since I do have a heart for mercy ministry I sent the following email to the Mexico team just to see what they would say.... "...Also, I know I've mentioned before that I feel called to mercy ministry; I was wondering if there would be a way for me to have this "outlet" while serving in Mexico City with RUF either throughthe church or through another ministry (on the MTW website it mentionssomething about a street child ministry?). I am obviously not looking for anything that would be more that maybe once a week, or anything that would "cut" into RUF time, but trying to get a feel of the broader church community in Mexico City. ..."
God answered my prayer (and the prayers of others) with the following response from Peter Dishman, the RUF minister in Mexico City on January 26th:
"On mercy ministries, I think you could have a number of "outlets." One outlet wouldbe working with RUF students to put together "mercy" projects. We've done the local orphanage several times, and there continue to be opportunities there. We've alsotalked about helping at an abused girl shelter, a drug rehabilitation center, and anursing home. So coordinating mercy with students definitely has an emerging place.We also have the "street child" ministry with Juanita Castañeda. Their team visits2-4 metros per week, and there would be possibilities to participate with them intheir monthly meeting and also do some metro visiting with them, possibly bringingRUF students along as well (I would like to have these two MTW ministries much moretied together). Let me know what other questions you have and I'll be happy to zap you some ideas."
Could God be any clearer???? I now can go to Mexico where my heart longs to go, and God has also provided Mercy ministry opportunities for me to get involved!
So, there you have it! As of now, I plan to go to Mexico City the academic year of 2010-2011. I will be doing college ministry on the UNAM (largest college campus in Mexico), teaching ESL (English as a Second Language) two days a week for free to college students as a way to meet them and then connect them to RUF, and hopefully pursuing some of those great mercy ministry options!
My aunt Sherry made this super awesome edible Easter bunny
